So, I turn 19 next month which is just really depressing because I am finally starting to get old. One minute you’re 10 and desperately want to turn eighteen and then it comes and all you realise is that everything after that point requires actual adulting which as I said before is just depressing. The good thing about growing up though is the life lessons you acquire along the way and believe me when I say I have learnt a lot, so I decided to share some with you today.
#Life Lesson One: Friends can be family too
One thing that I have come to realise is that the lines between family and friends can often become blurred and that’s okay. There really is nothing wrong with having close friends that you consider family, especially if they are at times more there for you than those that are meant to be your blood. I come from an extremely small family and more times often than not, my close friends have been my support system and cared about me way more than any member of my extended family and it is something I will always be grateful. My girl gang aren’t just my best friends, they are my sisters and my future bridesmaids *haha*. But most importantly, they are my family ❤
#Life Lesson Two: You have to love yourself first
One thing that no one ever tells you is that as much as we all desire to have that disney fairytale ending in terms of finding love, that is merely just an afterthought if we are not in love with ourselves. To love someone other than yourself requires a lot of time and energy and if we are not happy within ourselves, it is likely that you will settle for less simply because it is what you think you deserve. Over time I have come to realise that there is nothing wrong with learning who you are and overcoming insecurities before committing yourself to a relationship; if anything it just makes you strong.
#Life Lesson Three: The minute someone shows you their true colours, drop them
There was a time when I was very naive and believed in giving people that I thought were my friends multiple chances, even they had already hurt me a lot of times already. I believed that I could change them but one thing you will come to realise as you get older is that no one can be changed or helped, if it isn’t something they want for themselves.
#Life Lesson Four: Girl Crushes are normal
Believe me when I say that identifying as a straight girl doesn’t mean that you can’t appreciate other girls more than guys or have a girl crush, mine is Selena Gomez and everyone knows she is the only girl I would ever consider kissing but it doesn’t define my sexuality or who I am. Anyone that tells you different is a dumb-ass.
#Life Lesson Five: Fangirling obsessively is not something to be ashamed of
I am a massive fangirl and not ashamed to say so, I fangirl over everything from celebrities to reality tv. I am a shameless fangirl even though I am approaching the adult life, I know that meeting Selena Gomez in ten years time will still have me crying hysterically.
#Life Lesson Six: People hate the word ‘equality’
I consider myself an activist for both the LGBT community and Black community, as well as an identifying intersectional feminist. However, one thing that I have noticed during my many online debates is that people are genuinely scared of the word equality, particularly when are in a group that does not experience marginalisation or exploitation. I often feel that they fear having equality for all will hinder their sad, pathetic existence in the world.
#Life Lesson Seven: It’s okay not to be okay
There are going to be times that you break down in front of those girls you don’t like or cry yourself to sleep because everyone has experienced the ‘night-time blues’ where it seems like all your problems come rushing to the surface at once. Accepting that you are in a bad place is the first step you can take in order to heal, even if it feels like no one will understand please tell someone because the longer you leave things to fester is the worse you will.
#Life Lesson Eight: I will likely never be religious
Religion has never been my thing and likely never will. I can not bring myself to read religious texts or attend a place of worship when there are a lot of ideas within religions that I disagree with and conflict with my personal views. E.g religion is often used as a driving force to normalise homophobia and regard same sex relationships as immoral which is something I will never accept or be okay with. Personally, I identify as a spiritual person and am currently transitioning to Buddhism so I can work on becoming more in tune with my mind.
#Life Lesson Nine: You cant take it with when you go
In this materialistic world we live in where everyone seems to be obsessed with consumer goods and the notion of being rich, it seems as though we have lost sight of what actually matters. Money is a luxury not a necessity and it is not as if we can take it with us when we die so why not just enjoy and appreciate this life we have been given.
#Life Lesson Ten: Nothing can compare to eighties films
Eighties cinema was and continues to be the greatest era in cinema, it remains the most daring as it never shyed away from talking about topics such as abortion, feminism, sexuality etc. The eighties also gave us John Hughes- the man who pretty much invented the coming of age genre with films such as the breakfast club, pretty in pink and sixteen candles under his belt. I could go on and on about how great of a time it was but I shall save that for another post.
#Life Lesson Eleven: Adventure is key
Life is full of adventure so make sure to chase it. Go and find the pot at the end of the rainbow.
#Life Lesson Twelve: You will never truly find yourself
You will spend your whole life searching for yourself but you will never truly get there. The reason for this is that we are constantly soul searching and changing, the person you were yesterday probably isn’t the same person you are today. Thus, learning who you really are will probably prove to be a difficult task.
#Life Lesson Thirteen: Hard work pays off
Hard work is a necessity. Those who dream prosper only when they take their goals and do something with it, never settle for less than you know you can achieve.
#Life Lesson Fourteen: Lemon is the key
Drinking hot lemon tea is often the best detox you could ever wish for after too much drinks on a night out. Not only does it seriously debloat your stomach, it also provides much health benefits such as preventing cancer and diabetes.
#Life Lesson Fifteen: Birthdays just get lame once you hit eighteen
I love birthdays but as I get older they are just seemingly becoming more and more monotonous; a day that I once counted down the days to is now just a reminder that I am getting old.
Until next time,